His name is Big Squish.
You see, usually, he is my little angel. This is an actual photo taken on Monday:
But a lot has happened since Monday. Big Squish's top two teeth are coming in. Apparently they are teeth the size of mutant iPods that shoot out nails as they come in because they have turned him into this... Actual photo taken today:
So I kind of want to do this:
But instead I am going to take a deep breath and pretend that I am sitting in this room:
and that I am reading a brand new issue of House Beautiful whilst getting a massage and pedicure and eating giant chocolate chip cookies that are delicious and healthy because they are made with spinach and that I have nothing else to do this afternoon but pick out an Oscar dress and decide what time I want to take my glitter bubble bath. The end.