Kill the banana

We've been experimenting with finger foods recently {because the books say so...and ps how did anyone know how to do ANYthing without baby books?!} and by this I mean, I put miniscule sized pieces of food in front of Big Squish in his high chair and wait for him to pick them up with finesse and gently place them into his mouth. This is how it typically goes:

Act 1 Scene 1

Enter sweet smart patient talented mother, not in a robe and with make up on and hair fixed obviously. Mother in super cool red glitter stilettos lovingly chops up banana into perfectly equal unchokeable bite sized pieces. Banana is placed on high chair in front of Big Squish.

Big Squish: stares

Mother waits.

Big Squish: points

Mother waits. Prays.

Big Squish: Decides in his head that the bananas are very evil things that must be destroyed and crushed to death as if his life depended on it. ATTACK THE BANANA PIECES!!!

Mother: (sweetly, patiently, trying to add comical value to our morning breakfast time) Big Squish what are you doing? We don't hit the bananas. We eat the bananas. Silly bananas! Bananas are fun. Yay bananas!

Big Squish: DIE BANANAS DIE! SMUSH! WHAM! I WILL CRUSH YOUUUUUU!!!

Mother: Angel, please let's eat the bananas. The bananas love you. Here, let me put some in your mouth for you.

Big Squish: HA! Silly mother lady thinks I am going to eat this food of doom! I SHALL REVOLT! Commence Operation Spit Banana Bullets EVERYWHERE IN RAPID FIRE FASHION!!!!

Mother is thinking...where on earth did he learn this? Because obviously I could not possibly have instilled this behavior into my darling angel child. Husband must be showing him Jean Claude van Damme movies. Definitely.