Ladies, let’s pretend we are sitting one on one over a warm cup of tea right now. It is time for a heart to heart as I need a big dish of good advice, some personal experiences and the like.
Several times a year since I started my clothing line I have thought about stopping. Every time – up until now – it has been more of a fleeting thought in a moment of stress and after a day or a week, the desire to stop working fades. This time, it is different. I feel like I have reached the point of being truly overwhelmed, and I feel like I am missing out on being a mother by choosing to dedicate so much time to my business. I absolutely will not hire full-time help to take care of my children (yet if I keep having babies at this rate and end up with 5 or 6, that might be a different story ;), as that is not a choice I have any desire to make right now, yet I cannot hire someone to run my business for me at this point. My involvement will always be very, very high and labor and time intensive. So, why do I feel like I am drowning? Read on.
The overseas production process is a nightmare, deadlines are never met on time, delays ensue and delivery guarantees are broken. The process of weaving fabric is sheer chaos, dealing with monsoons and all sorts of other tropical climate natural disasters that create circumstances out of my control that, again, cause delays. I never thought I’d get so into the Weather Channel. Religious holidays are an extremely regular occurrence in Indonesia, leading to full weeks on end off of work, not just a day here and there as it typical Western practice.
On top of that, there is the sheer volume of marketing that has to be done to actually get retailers to pay attention to you. Give you a first glance. Emails, phone calls, markets, newsletters, follow up emails, phone calls and newsletters. Constant research. Constant contact. It’s always push push push. Then creating the look book, website, arranging the photo shoots for all of that in the first place, participating in the shoots. Soon there will be the entire website aspect I have to deal with. Taking and processing orders, shipping, returns, customer service, packing boxes, emails to respond to, not to mention this poor blog that so desperately needs my attention and sweet readers that reach out to me that I simply do not have the time to email back, which just breaks my heart. There are a million things and it is never ending, and all of this, I am pretty much doing on my own. I have been beyond fortunate to have a few very kind hearted people help me over the past two years and generously contribute their time and energy, yet 99% of the time, I am running things by myself. Just me.
Then couple all of that with the fact that my line is a small collection created by a young girl, a mother with no official training in fashion design but rather just degrees in business, trying to manage the company out of her house while raising two children, young children, with number three on the way to soon bring the numbers to three babies under three years old… I am not sure how much longer I can last. We are always told that if we want it all, we can have it all, yet I am not sure I do want it all anymore. Doing it all is, well, hard.
{This is where you start thinking of the great advice you're going to give me here in a bit…}
It has always been a dream of mine to be a successful clothing designer, among other things. I do feel to some extent I have already achieved a bit of that success, going from 7 stores in year one to 22 stores in year two, but I cannot dedicate the time or energy to the business that I typically would if I did not have children at this point in my life. As a result of pulling myself in what feels like thousands of different directions for my business, I sacrifice time I could give to so many other areas of my life, namely my family and myself.
I posted something like this last year and got several responses. Most actually said to keep working. Don’t quit. Don’t give up. That I would regret it and soon “just” be a mom with no career or identity of my own to speak of. I do understand that and fully appreciate that angle. I am not saying I disagree, BUT, I also have to consider that this dream of mine was a dream I had before I got married. Before I had babies. When I needed to fill my life with something…but now, something else has filled my life. Something more amazing and wonderful than anything any job could ever give me.
Often I resent the work I have to do because the truth of the matter is, I do not have as much time as I would like for my husband, for my children, for myself, for my other interests like painting, drawing, running, photography, just flat out spending time with my sweet girlfriends that I so very rarely get to see. I honestly cannot tell you the last time I sat down to just watch tv. Just read a magazine. Just go on a walk. Looking at USMagazine.com for 4 minutes every morning is my “me” time. Every spare moment of my life is FULL trying to mark things off of my to do list. And I am exhausted.
The big snag for me is this though: I hate quitting. I just do not do that. I push myself ridiculously hard in every area of my life. I exercise until my heart is beating out of my chest and sweat is burning my eyes. I woke up in 5th grade at 4am to go study with my grandfather before school so I could make an A+ on my history test…and I graduated senior year with a 4.2 GPA from a very academically rigorous school thank you very much ;) But you see what I mean? I am PROUD that that is a personality trait of mine - that I do something until the best I can do is achieved - yet I have not done that with my line yet. I know it has tons of potential. I know I can keep growing it. I have not reached the level I will be satisfied with as far as business goes. I don’t want to just stop. It’s not in me. I don’t know HOW. But I feel like I have to…something’s gotta give.
I am trying to figure out some sort of balance, a word that has no good definition as I have come to realize. Do I just do clothing and stop trying to expand into other lines? Or do I just focus on purses, as I am very passionate about the songket fabric and the process and craftsmanship of it? Or does balance for me actually mean that I do indeed stop working right now, so that I can focus on what I feel are more important parts of my life? Will I feel like my Masters is going to waste? Perhaps I can use it to super-educate my children and sweet Squish will just know who Pavlov is by the time he’s 4. Will I miss my work once it’s gone? If I put it on the back burner now and want to pick it up in the future, will it be too late, and will I lose the desire to work full stop? Is this line of work even the best path for me? Should I quit worrying about myself so much and make what I personally feel is the best decision for my children? Is the grass always greener on the other side? I don’t know. I just don’t know what to do.
Has anyone struggled with this before? What did you ultimately decide? Did you regret stopping your work, or shutting down your business? Did you feel like you entered a world where it was truly no longer about you, and you did not have your own life or experiences? If so, was that ok? If you did not stop working and had the option to, do you wish you had?
You are right, the grass is always greener. But you also have to look into your heart and know what is best for you. I have 3 children (12, 15, 17). I quit my job the day my first one was born and never looked back because I wanted to be a full time Mom. But because my personality is a do-er, I then volunteered to the max and was sometimes on 5 committees at their school, Jr. League, and neighborhood boards. Basically it was like I worked for free. Now that my kids are older I have gone back to work. I do wish that I would have gone to work earlier...mostly because I would have had something to grow. Now I'm starting all over at the age of 46. BUT...I never regretted one minute of staying home. My job as a Mom was the most important and the kids grow up so quickly. Squish will be in college in a blink of an eye..I'm not kidding. Your personality appears that you will always want to do something..so if you quit, you'll just find something else. If you were my friend (or younger sister), right now I'd pour you a cup of tea and tell you to hire an assistant (for work/home) and try to just maintain the sanity. Maybe right now it's time to just enjoy the size it is and then wait a few years to increase the size of your biz. Focus on either clothes or purses...or just a small line of both. You've done so much in such a short time and that is wonderful. You'll never regret taking care of those sweet babies....women will always need purses and clothes so that biz isn't going anywhere soon. It will be there waiting for you. Even though I sometimes feel like I've wasted so much time by not working and I look at how successful I could have been if I'd started years ago...I know that 46 is still young and I have plenty of years left to be what I need to be. Each year will get easier and easier with you kiddos and when they are in school you will have more time on your hands. Remember no one gets to the end and says, "I wish I would have worked more."..they all wish they had had more family time. My husband had tickets to a football game this weekend and drove all the way there and then had a clear thought of how big our kids are getting and how they will all be out of the house soon, so he put down his beer/popcorn and walked out after 5 minutes of the game. He didn't at all regret it. The kids grow up so fast and really are only with us for a short period of our lifetime. It is possible to have it all..just sometimes not at the exact same time. (Sorry this is so long..I just wasted your 4 minutes of US magazine time.)
ReplyDeleteyou are still so young and have already accomplished so much! we are the same age i think? (27) and I read your blog with fascination most of the time because I think, "wow, this girl has a clothing line, 2 kids, and has done it all!". I think there is nothing wrong with taking a break. Maybe put the business on hold for a while and see how it goes?
ReplyDeleteWow! Thanks for sharing. As a blog stalker, I often wonder how you do it all- and do it so well! I don't have kids yet, so I can't completely relate although I'm certain that I'll have the same "issues" once I'm a mom. It's also in my nature to over-achieve. For whatever it's worth, I can say that your line is amazing! I love the colors and patterns and I really think you're on to something. I saw a tunic the other day from Tory Burch, and I could've sworn that she had gotten her inspiration from you! But you're right, at the end of the day it's all about your family. Again, I don't have children, so take this advice with a grain of salt. Is it possible to set up more bounderies so that you are only "scheduled" to work between x and y hours? And can you get more help with work, so you can be at home more? Maybe an assistant that comes to you to make the big decisions, but that can also handle the day to day on their own? Just my two sense. Partly because I love your line, and I don't want it to go away;)
ReplyDeleteSheridan, I am married and work full time. I do not have any children yet but would gladly trade my full time job--which I love-to raise them. I think you are so blessed to have the beautiful family you have and another little one on the way. I can tell from reading how much you love your business and I see how far you've come. I am not really qualified to give you advice in this area but my personal opinion is if I couldn't do both to my best ability, being a mother to my children is definitely NOT the area I would want to fall by the wayside. Thanks for being so passionate)
ReplyDeletehey Sheridan. My two cents, in a nutshell, keep working. My two cents in a bigger nutshell, keep working but try to simplify. If the overseas production process is hellacious, could you move your production to the USA? Can you hire an assistant to handle some of the more tedious to-do items (like confirming photoshoots, calling back vendors, etc)? I don't have children of my own but as a woman who comes from a full-time working mother (my mom is a lawyer... and she had me at 22, my sister at 24 and my brother at 29), I am so thankful that my mom pursued her passion as a career driven lawyer. As an adult, I now realize that while my mom couldn't attend every track meet or bought my birthday cake from a store rather than made it from scratch, I had a very strong female figure to look up to my entire life and that is not something to take for granted. In fact, it's one of the things I cherish and feel lucky to have in my life. My mom and her career-driven self taught me that there is absolutely nothing I can't have or do if I work hard enough.
ReplyDeleteI also think that if you give this (fabulous) business of yours just a few more years, it really could be the type of thing that is self-sustaining... and then you can have the best of both worlds. So, my two cents, keep working.
When I was facing this decision a short time ago (I have an 18 month old daughter and an 8 week old son), a dear friend told me "you can always work but your children will only be small once." I completely agree that our dreams are important, however I don't think you will ever regret stepping back from work to watch them grow up. However I do think there could be a chance that you would regret missing important moments of their childhood. In the end, I think you have to do what feels right to you, in your heart, and what works best for your family. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteSheridan I hate seeing you worry like this. I don't think the grass is always greener, I think we just need to water our own grass. If something is making you unhappy then you need to change it. Your clothing and accessory line has absolutely taken off therefore you feel obligated to keep doing more, more, more. Are you able to keep it small? Maybe only do dresses/tunics and purses? I feel like if you can keep it small then you'll still have your time with your babies. If after you downgrade and its still not working then maybe you need to reassess again.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you though, family is first. But every woman needs some "her" time. Maybe your clothing line is your "you" time.
I wish I could be of more help and do know that you truly are an inspiration, Sheridan! Keep your head up, everything will work out, it always does.
Xo
1) Hire an assistant immediately. I think in the short term, you need a right hand person whom you can delegate to. Hesitate from doing anything drastic right away. If you're going to make the change, make it gradually, and let the wisdom seep its way in. You'll find your best answer that way, which you will be most content with for the long term. Why can't wisdom come overnight?!
ReplyDelete2) Even though non-Asian production markets are more expensive, it seems like you are probably losing money due to the deadline/holiday issues. And, as much as you want to be a tolerant human, respectful of cultural differences, you are running a business and they are HURTING it. Might it be more profitable to have more expensive production done on time and in an efficient manner, protecting your brand and reputation?
3) Once a business owner, always a business owner. No one can take that away from you. The same pertains to your Masters. It will never be wasted. I think women before us paved the way so that we could have the CHOICE to do what we want. There is as much value in being a CEO as their is in being a stay-at-home mom. Please remember that, trust that, and trust yourself.
You have the tools to make this decision. Allow yourself to look at ALL options, you have to know what's on the table.
It is going to work out.
Disclaimer: My views expressed here are my own and are not representative of my employer. My views are my personal views and are not directed as management consulting business advice.
{just to be safe ;) }
Honestly, you have already answered your own question. If it permission you are looking for than I can give you that. I have 5 children . I can tell you that I have been a nursing , stay at home mom for all of them . I still to this day do not feel like I gave them enough of me. When they hit those teenage years , ugh. I blame every issue / insecurity and defeat on myself. You are amazing! A super woman! No one will think less of you for becoming creative director, personal chef ,educator, spiritual advisor and CEO of your children. If you created a successful clothing business once you can certainly do it again... Later. I will never forget your post on princess drool and squishes' schedule when sweetums was colic and you ran up and down the steps a thousand times! Hugs
ReplyDeleteI admire your dedication and hard work in all aspects of your life! For me, it was no question. Once I had my son, I quit working and have not regretted it. I do a little on the side here and there, but I enjoy spending my days with my 2 year old son. There have been times I have missed working, but have never really wanted to go back to work full time. You are still young and I think you will have plenty of opportunities in the future as I think you are very talented. Do what feels right for you and your family. Do not feel you are quitting or giving up because that is certainly not the case. Raising children is the hardest job I have ever had and the most rewarding!
ReplyDeleteThe key for any working woman is establishing boundaries. I know that is probably difficult for you because you are your own boss and responsible for your own success, but the flexibility that offers you is also is such a gift.
ReplyDeleteI think you hit it on the nose when you mentioned focusing your line on handbags (or whatever else you decided to focus on). All of us who read your blog love your products, but we love your blog posts just as much. If you focus your line and keep up the blogging, your name will stay out there. That will make it so much easier to re-expand once your kids get older and you have more time.
I don't have kids yet, but it's coming soon and I think about it often. As a lawyer, it will so much easier for me to get off partner track for a few years than it would be to quit and then try to get back into the practice years down the line.
Family is most important, and the balance should always tip that way. But there's no insurmountable hurdle when it comes to achieving your individual hopes and dreams. With a big family, it just may take a little longer.
Mary
The answer is pretty easy. When you wake up in the morning, what would you rather do? You can look at your situation from two sides. Option 1- Keep the factory open! Just hire more of a team to do do the 'door to door' stuff. You can still be completly involed with the details of everything but have someone else do the phone calls, email, website... etc. I currently work for a girl who gets me to do all those things and really love taking the burden off of her but also at the end of everyday, i send her a log of whats been done, needs to be done, the marketing that has been sent out, the media to be approved... etc. She still picks everything out and approves everything and goes and picks out fabric, like you. But I handle the headaches. I filter all emails and send her the 'important ones' but she has access to view all of them anytime. You may not have a budget for it now, but if you want to really push forward with your designs, you will find the budget.
ReplyDeleteOption 2- When we become mommies', our things i want to do in life changes. And thats ok, nothing says you have to do all this stuff NOW. You just need to be a mother NOW. The bags, dresses and everything else can wait. The demand will always be here but the first step, or the first word wont. And you don't have to wait till they are done with school (maybe for you if you want half of a soccer team) but when the mini's get into middle you could open your creative doors again. But overall, life is so short, How do you want to be remembered?? You can have it all... An Adorable, loving husband- Check! Cute, droll face babies- Check! A Fashion empire- Check! Just think about what order you want them to go in. And don't forget about you time. You don't want to lose yourself in the process and you don't want to forget why you started the things you did.
Sidenote- I love reading your blogs... I've missed your stories.
I'm not sure if it is financially feasible, but before you put the break on your business entirely, I would DEFINITELY hire help!!! Big business decisions and creative direction would stay with you, but an assistant could help with the sucky things like constant e-mails/phone calls to wrangle fabric suppliers, or push marketing, etc. This way you could do the things you love about having a clothing line but be able to spend even more time on the things that are most important, like being with your family. I would also put the brakes on expanding your business at all until you have your next baby and see how things are then. Even if your business just isn't going to work for you now, years down the line, you could have a small bag line or something to express your creativity and have a business. This last bit might be a little controversial. My mom stayed at home when my brother and I were really young, but then went back to work full time. It was really special and important that my mom was able to spend a lot of time with us when we were young, but later on, it was also really valuable to me to have a strong female professional role model. Maybe my mom wasn't able to attend every single PTA meeting or bake cupcakes to bring to class, but especially as a type-A person, I really admired and respected her for having a professional career.
ReplyDeleteI hear you. I was pursuing a degree in fashion design very passionately, after the birth of my first child. When I really began to see the true depth of the field, not only did I feel incredibly disgusted at how things truly get done, how people really get paid so little to do so much work, how fashion really enslaves us... it got to be too much. Then, I got really disgruntled at how little creativity actually gets into the creation of things, and I said HELL NO!!! Working an internship with a swimwear company, I saw that it really was not my calling. Then my second baby was born, and I felt that fashion, for me, was not a career, and really just an interest, like all art is for me. I love designing, but only for myself. I love painting, but only for the people I love. Doing art with my kids, making their halloween costumes, and being creative with them, every single day, is SOOOOOOOOOOO much more fulfilling, and amazing. For me, working a career cannot compare to it. My kids won't be young and tiny forever, and I want to savor it, and enjoy it all. My career can come later. Your description of all that is involved in designing reaffirms that it is definitely not the path for me, and that kind of headache is not compatible with my mindset! If we were sitting over a cup of tea, (I actually have tea brewing!) I would tell you to do whatever your heart says to do- it's always right.
ReplyDeleteI can completely relate to this...although my situation is a little different. I have not had any children yet, b/c I decided after being married for only a year to open up a gourmet shop. BUT I really want babies and have kept putting it off because the store has been my baby..and now I am resenting the store, the thing I wanted so much and thought would become a family business. So I am now looking to sell my business so I can start a family. Really there is no right answer. I think taking a little bit of time off to focus on your family is a good idea, you have so much ahead of you and just think about once all your little ones starting school, your going to find yourself with time on your hands again...maybe time to start up your line again and be able to devote time to turning it into the company you want it to be. There is nor formula, no perfect solution. You just have to go with your instincts.
ReplyDeleteIf we were sitting down to a warm cup of tea right now, i would say not to give up your business. It is obviously something that you adore to the max, and giving up something that gives you so much joy (albeit with stress as well) isn't necessarily a healthy thing for you to do. The above posters are right, 3 under 3 is certainly going to be a difficult task and one filled with so much fun, but then again, that just means they will all be in school fairly shortly giving you more time to grow your business without missing out on time with your kiddos. In the meantime, i would suggest hiring some sort of part time assistant so that they could help and participate in doing the mundane tasks of the job (ie. packaging and shipping boxes once you have your online shop set up! there is no reason why you need to be doing that!), while you still do the designing and bigger aspects of the awesome job!
ReplyDeleteI personally believe it is really important for women to have something to build their own identity through, other than being "mommy" (even though it is such a fulfilling role). I know, that growing up with a mom who was such a hard worker, making her way to the top of an international fashion business, is a life altering experience to have. Because of her, my work ethic could be considered much stronger, my independence is much stronger, i have a stronger self confidence, and a stronger view on women as a whole - i know that we can do anything we put our minds too, which is exactly what you can do! Push through the rough patches - there will be light at the end of the tunnel!
I think, if putting the line on hold would make you happy and was the right decision for you, it would be easier. I don't have children, but I know the decision was a no brainer for my mom. If I were you, I would figure out a way to get help with my business since children are more important. Maybe one paid employee such as an assistant and an unpaid intern. There are plenty of college kids trying to find experience right now and this would be an amazing opportunity for one.
ReplyDeleteWhile I'm sure you would also be happy being a full-time mom, your passion for your business is also obvious and I think both can be accomplished maybe the business just doesn't grow at the pace you would want if you didn't have children.
I so love your honesty! I struggle with the same issue. I love what I do and feel extremely lucky to be able to do it on my own terms. But at the same time I feel like I am doing things halfway. And well you just can't be halfway with your children. I often think why can't I just be content? Just be at home with my kids and watch and help them grow? I too would feel like I was "quitting". But maybe you really aren't quitting you are just re-evaluating your needs and your family's needs. Life changes quickly and maybe it is just not what is supposed to happen now. Maybe if was kept small for a while it would be easier to handle? Sometimes I think, " I am so lucky to be able to be home with my boys. A lot of people do not even have this option, so why do I not embrace it to the fullest?" I am so lucky to be able to do it. Sometimes I guess you just have to put on new glasses to look at life again. I hope that was advice? Its a really hard decision. Let me know what you come up with.... I still don't have the answer. :)
ReplyDeleteJennifer
My mother had a great career before having us three girls but, after I was born, she decided to stay home (when my youngest sister was old enough, she went back to school and work). And I am so thankful that she dedicated those years to us. I know with 100% certainty that no matter what I am doing with my career, when I have children I want to stay home, at least until they are older. Because I know how much of a positive impact in makes on their lives.
ReplyDeleteAt the same time, my mother always kept up her hobby (which was crafting and design). She sold her products to stores in the area, and she would hold workshops out of our home. So we also learned the importance of following our dreams and exploring our talents.
I think a perfect balance is never achievable...but it you could find a way to focus on one aspect of your line (such as handbags, as you mentioned), then you would eliminate much of the stress and be able to spend more time with your family, while still feeding your dream and keeping your creativity alive.
Best of luck!!
WOW! Wonderful post and quite thought-provoking. I am going through the same burdens and decisions now that I am expecting and it is scary to think about, especially when you feel that your career defines a part of you. Thank you for your honest approach to this subject- it made me feel not-so-alone.
ReplyDeleteI too think you have already decided, just by putting it out there into the universe. I faced a similar situation, all I ever wanted to be was a lawyer. I worked my butt off to get into law school, get my dream job, and then my first little boy was born only 3 years after I started working. I begged and pleaded for a part time position, and when it wasn't offered, I knew I would never regret going back to work, but I would always regret not seeing my boy *now boys* grow up. 4 years later I know I made the right choice.
ReplyDeleteA lot of people tell me I wasted my degree, my life, but I have never once looked at it that way. I met my husband when I was in school, I can hold a conversation with anyone one, and I can teach my kids from my experiences. Only you know what is right for you, but I remember "floating" the idea around about quitting work, but really I just wanted someone to tell me it was okay. AND IT IS. Sure, you can go back, but you might not want to, or have time to.
I find now, as my kids get bigger, that I am even busier, our days are filled with so much runaround, and some gym "me time" and I wouldn't want to miss a second of it. Seeing my little guy skate his first ramp, or swim the length of the pool, or get his yellow belt. Sadly, you can't have it all, but if it were to all end tomorrow, what would you have liked to spend the day doing? Emails, or the park? I'm as type A as they come, and I have just transfered that into being as great as a mother, wife, friend and homemaker as I can be.
I realize this is a bit rambling, but I'm having lunch with my four year old as I type... did I mention how much MORE attention older kids need? :) You will do what is right for you, but don't ever feel like a failure for choosing to raise your children.
Sheridan,
ReplyDeleteI am young (24), I can’t begin to say that I “know what you are going through” because even though reading your blog makes me feel like we are besties, your situation is very unique. For what it’s worth, this is my suggestion for peace and happiness in your personal and family world: delegate. Hire people you trust to help you with your business so you can invest less of your precious time with the details and instead be the creative driver and founder that does the fun stuff instead. Think Rachel Zoe, where would she be without her talented and passionate team? You can’t do it all by yourself, girl! And it doesn’t make you a failure to realize that – it makes you a smart business woman. If you had someone (or multiple someones) working for you, think of all you could accomplish… you could be spending much (much, much, much) more time with your fabulous family and maybe have 100 stores with your stuff! Take the stress off your plate and give it to someone else :) I know it’s not cheap to hire people to do the dirty work, and as a very Type-A and hyper obsessive person I know that it’s not easy to entrust your budding and very personal business to people who haven’t poured in the blood/sweat/tears you have to get it to where it is today. But I just think it’s the only way to have your business and keep it growing… If you’re looking for a can’do girl who’s passionate about small brands and who knows how to work under people to get things done shoot me an email (for real, I would work for you in heartbeat!)
Best of luck and chin up – whatever you decide, it will be amazing. And all of your loyal blog readers will still love you to pieces!
xx
.M
Hi Sheridan -
ReplyDeletelots of good input here. To paraphrase my favorite quote (I think from Maria Shriver) - "you can have and be anything you want in life, just not all at the same time."
I've found it helpful to think of my life as five-year "acts". I had my party girl "act", my high-powered career "act" (which wound up being several acts back to back). When I moved into my "I'm having babies" now act, I found I needed to shift down to truly appreciate, focus and enjoy being a mom and I did and don't regret it one bit.
But I know I have many "acts" still in me in life and when the time is right, I will choose to move on to the next one. If you choose to step back from the business side for a bit, it need not be forever.
put boundaries on your business!! only 22 shops with a limited number of offerings that are all super duper amazing. that's it for now, build processes, hire assistants- train them, then let them do it and create ownership! I have a girlfriend that has her own business and she is honest and kind, but has boundaries on what business she takes on to whom and at what price- and people WILL pay! Gros Biz XOXO
ReplyDeleteLet me start by saying that I am not married and I do not have children but I totally understand the concept of pushing yourself to the max...I do it all the time!
ReplyDeleteI feel strongly that there is a huge difference in knowing when it is time to walk away from something and quitting. Sometimes walking away takes a lot more courage. From reading your post it sounds to me like you already know in your heart what you want and what is the right decision for you and your family. Sometimes we all just need that affirmation that we are doing the right thing. Regardless of what you do there will always be people who criticize and think you should have done things differently, but only you know what is best for your family...embrace that and don't look back. Even you said in your post that sometimes you have to let go of one dream to pursue a better, more significant dream! When you come to the end of your life you want to be able to look back and say confidently that you pursed the things that were truly important and valuable to YOU...who cares what everyone else thinks is important.
As a perfectionist I often have to remind myself that if I am juggling too much then I am not doing anything the best. Sometimes quality is better than quantity. No matter what you choose there will always be the tendency to look back and wonder what if...Unfortunately that is a plight of humanity, that we can't have it all. We all have to do the best we can and decide not to regret the path we choose. Living without regrets is a choice, not a consequence of making all the "right" decisions.
Maybe you can do it all, and maybe you can't....and maybe that's OK!
Sheridan,
ReplyDeleteI must say, you are amazing! You seem to be an amazing wife, mother, business owner and creator. By my standards, you have accomplished so much in your life already and if this is any indication of what is to come...all of your family, friends, and SF fans are going to be blown away! Whether you continue your business (if so, hire help asap! Assistant and college intern would be perfect!) or put your company on hold to raise your beautiful family, I have faith you will amaze us all. To me, it seems that your children (after God and Biz) are the most important thing to you. More important than your tunics, purses, Master's degree, etc. The latter are all amazing and you truly inspire me and I would miss hearing about your clothing line and wearing it if you decide to put it on hold. But in reality, if you were going to put anything on hold, I highly doubt that you would choose your sweet kiddos over the tunics and purses.
MY two cents is PRAY! PRAY! PRAY! God has a funny way of answering our own questions for us (even if we get the answer that we initially were not expecting). Lean on Him more than these comments (I must say the input from these comments has been amazing)!
You inspire me!
You've accomplished so many things in your life so far, but if you're not happy then you'll continue to keep having these doubts and your resentment will increase. Your kids are only small once and you can always go back to having a clothing line when they're older if it's still a dream you wish to pursue. I wouldn't look at it like you're giving up or quitting either if that's another thing you're struggling with. Your priorities and dreams have changed is all. Good luck with whatever you decide!
ReplyDeleteSheridan, I would say you and Biz talk it out, then let him lead in this decision. He can be a sweet cover for you in this time of uncertainty. Hard decision!!
ReplyDeleteas oprah says,"you can have it all, just not all at the same time."
ReplyDeleteSheridan, My children are now 16 and 19, and to this day, I am so grateful that I only worked part-time while they were young -- whenever they needed me, I was there. It was not the most fulfilling time in my life -- I really had to put my career on hold for several years and was often frustrated by this -- but I honestly don't have one regret. I'm just playing a bit of catch-up now, and living the next part of my life. Whatever you do, I'm sure it will be the right decision for you. Best of luck!
ReplyDeleteYou can have anything you want, but you can't have everything you want. At some point you will have to come to peace with what you are sacrificing and hope you are gaining more than you are losing. (whichever you may choose). But trying to have 100% of *everything* is sadly just unachievable and will drive you down. The great thing is, what is now doesn't have to be forever. Life is an active and ongoing series of trials, errors, and compromises. Goodluck.
ReplyDeleteSheridan,
ReplyDeleteI have 2 little ones 3 and under and I find out tomorrow from the doctor if there is another on the way. I quit my job a month before I gave birth to my oldest daughter...literally after I had the most "successful" year in my career. "Successful" in the terms of making money...HOWEVER it does not even compare in the same universe as spending time and pouring into my kids. I think that is where you are right now. You know what? I don't miss it..not one bit. Even if I have hard days with the kids I can't imagine anything more RIGHT. I mean when am I ever going to have this time back. They are going to be in school before I know it and in college right after that! My mom stayed at home with my brother and I and worked for a few years when we were in school, but was always home when we got there. I can't imagine anything better! Also, my husband is in ministry and I feel like I can help him more while not working PLUS I feel like the Lord has made helping other mom's out (those in need and those who are just in need of other adults around!) my ministry while having little ones. Right now we are helping out a few teenage mom's and I am having my kids help bake to raise money for some things they need along with other mom's and their kids. Yes, they are both 3 and under, but they can start young! I think you have to make the decision yourself, but it sounds like you already know and feel one way. I know it's cliche, but no one every reached the end of their life and wish they had worked more! I think that after my kiddos are in college I still have 1/2 my life to go for a career, but I don't think I am going to want to. I think I am just going to want to be a Grandma :) I am just so excited to live my life with my girls and help them lead a life where they are helping others and loving God with their whole heart!! Pray about it...if you ask I know you will know what you are supposed to do!!
Ok, my advice, keep it small. My mother had a ladies clothing business in the late 80's early 90's and I worked with her my later years in college..it started very small with a temp showroom @ DMC in the ladies mart..then we added a temp western,,,then permanent ladies,,permanent western..you see the trend here. when the business was small, it was great fun..we loved chatting with our customers and filling their orders...we manufactured locally but still had to deal with and run to our manufacturers all constantly, such a chore.. i can only imagine international..anyway, once we grew, sold to everyone who would buy,and got the big accounts, horchow, cavenders, boot city, etc..it lost it's sparkle, became a chore, we worked worked worked and that was it...mom had a health scare, i got married and we shut her down,,,,we always say,,if we would have just kept it small,,we would still be doing it. so, go back to your original 7, or just figure out what you can easily manage and do just that for now.,,,it's enough,,,and then hire someone to help with billing & shipping!
ReplyDeletegood luck, your tunics are beautiful!
aLI
Sheridan,
ReplyDeleteFirst, I want to say that you should be so proud of yourself for how great and dedicated you are at SO many things. I'm a complete stranger, and you have personally responded to an email (where I asked you about your awesome headboard) and even did a guest post on my blog a few months back!! Heck, I'm proud of you!!! :)
Second, I have always learned to trust my gut in times where important decisions are needed. I'm guessing from what I know of you that you have a pretty good gut too. It seems to me that right now your gut and your head are torn. You love your business obviously, but there is obviously a rational part of your brain that keeps making this "should I quit" idea resurface. I don't know what the right answer is, but I think you need to make a list of the things you love and the things that HAVE to stay in your life, followed by a list of things that would be nice-to-have in your life. Figure out how much time you WANT to allocate to each part of your life and stick to it. Maybe what this means is hiring an assistant as others have suggested or scaling down your business to the basics for the next few years. You're such a talented person in so many aspects, but at some point pursuing so many things takes the excitement and enjoyment out of you.
My mother was a stay-at-home mom and I have hundreds of amazing memories with her and my siblings growing up. I had such a great childhood, but I remember one summer in between fourth and fifth grade (when my siblings and I were being particularly dreadful) where my mother "lost it" (something she never does) and tearfully exclaimed, "I've given up everything for you, don't you understand that? My job, my personal time. Everything". I remember everything about that day-down to what we all were wearing and where we were standing in our home. It was an important moment for me because it was the first time I truly understood how much sacrifice was involved in being a stay-at-home mom. I'm so glad my mom accidentally let that comment slip because I've never forgotten it, and it made me eternally grateful for everything she does. It also made me realize, though, that it might have been a thought that frequented my mom's mind on a regular basis. Maybe she wished she had worked part time or done a better job of keeping hobbies while we were growing up.
Just make sure you allocate your resources (i.e. YOU) in a way that is best for your family and you. It doesn't seem as if the decision is black and white, so why not try scaling back and see how it goes? Worst case scenario you switch things up again.
Good luck!! xx,
Kelly
I can relate to your struggle I have 4 girls and I left work to stay home with them. I have to say it is the best decision I've ever made. I have been here for it all and that is time I will never get back and it goes fast I think the trick is to not loose yourself completely make sure you follow your interests to a point while you are home with your kids and take some time out to explore your other hobbies. I don't see it as quitting because you have already had great success! how many people actually get their clothing line into stores? not many and if you are to the point where you have some resentment then it may be time to take a break and revisit at another time or maybe something else will be in your future. You have time to revisit your career but not with your babies it goes crazy fast! Enjoy the ride!
ReplyDeleteyears ago my friend and I started a business that sold children's smocked clothes, I know exactly what you are going through. Production was a night mare, we found a woman in Viet Nam to sew for us and between her being half way around the world, her lack of english and customs we were just not fulfilling orders. I was so stressed out and had a newborn. We decided to close up shop. Years later I would like to have my own business, but I need to be more in control but I have 3 kids and I honestly dont have the time to start up anything.
ReplyDeleteSheridan, I don't think you need too much advice. ;) I think you know in your heart what is best for your family. Taking a breaking from your clothing line is not quitting....It's simply taking a break. I think you are very wise to put your family first. In my opinion, that's the way it should be. Love is all about sacrifice....with you putting your dreams on hold for now; that is a sacrifice for you. Who knows what blessings are awaiting your future....I can tell you that your have THREE HUGE blessings...and counting :) in front of you that will not be there for long. You will never, ever regret being there for your children. I know some days are VERY TOUGH, VERY TRYING but as hard as being a mommy is it is also the BEST JOB on the planet!!!
ReplyDeleteHugs, hugs, hugs sweet lady!!!!!
Although I have not quite faced this in my life it is something that I contemplate knowing it will one day come to pass. But scaling back your business or choosing to no longer grow, become smaller, or close is not quitting. It's making the choice that other aspects of your life are more important. That is not a failure. And business opportunities will always be there. You will drive yourself crazy thinking of the outcomes or chances you might miss with your business but you will hate yourself if you miss the one-time chance to see your children grow and be there for them. all things happen for a reason and maybe in 10 years when your children are older there will be more opportunities - better opportunities - that you could have never foreseen. You have the rest of your life to run a business and be successful but you only have a few years to enjoy your children's youth. Which will you really regret more 20, 30, 40 years from now?
ReplyDeleteBabies are the greatest thing in life and before you know it they are all grown up. Your business can always be started again when you want it, but your kids are only there for a short period in time. Enjoy being a Mama!
ReplyDeleteI am 32 and mother of a special needs 5 year old son. I went to medical school when he was 1. I am in residency now in TX. At this point, I have realized how much of my son's life I've missed out on. But I'm stuck. As much as I want to practice part-time when I complete my residency, I cannot because of my mortgage-sized student loan. The sad reality is that the finances is what determines my career plans. I want more children and so then my head spins to consider re-entering the world of daycare (and its tuition). What matters is how I will look back on my choices... I will not ever regret time with my child. I will not ever wish I had spent more time working. So there's my challenge: to find the right balance between the two, a practicing physician and mother. My prayer is that I can shift the balance to where more of my time and energy is spent on mothering and less on practicing, but that's in God's hands and we'll see how it shakes out in the near future. I pray that you also find the balance, whether it's 50/50, 75/25 or 95/5. The Lord gives us talents, abilities and a passion to create, to heal, etc - I have to trust that He will also give us the timing for each to take it's prominence. ~ Dr. G in Texas
ReplyDeleteI know that you and I have touched on this issue before via email.....none of us has "balance" every day; but, overall, it should feel like we are in a good flow. If you decide to put your business on hold, it is not quitting. Quitting is an entirely different thing than walking away from something that no longer serves you. When you think about this decision, which makes you feel better? Walking away for now or keeping on the same path? Which thought makes your heart feel lighter? Which thought brings you joy? Move toward that feeling, that joy, and you will keep making all the right decisions. Move toward happiness and lightness, however you can do that....hire help for the business, sell the business, bring in household help, set "off" hours, look at all the options and keep asking yourself "What makes me feel happy?"
ReplyDeleteI had to make the decision to close down my physical therapy practice when my kids were 5 and 8. I had worked so hard and it was doing well, but I couldn't afford to hire steady help and I couldn't do it all on my own any more. It broke my heart to do it, but it was the right decision in that moment. Now, my kids are 10 and 13 and I just left my "steady job" and re-opened my practice.
As we move through life and our families go through different stages, different work hours/environments/settings will be best for us at different times. That is normal, and we have to have the wisdom to go with what works at that moment in time. If it feels like you are pushing and not in the flow....make some changes and see where it leads you.
Keep moving toward what serves you and your family, in this moment, and what brings you joy. You can't go wrong!
xoxoxo
IMO, you need to stop and concentrate on your babies. You are SO LUCKY that you CAN DO THAT. There are so many of us who CAN'T. I'm from your city, and my husband grew up with yours. However, we are not as financially "fortunate" as you, and I HAVE to work for OTHER people. I see you, and people like you every day, who need to stop and thank God for their blessings. Quit worrying about it, and be a mother full time while they are little. I wish I could.
ReplyDeleteMy perspective on this subject completely changed when my husband was deployed to Iraq for a year. Not to be depressing, but I never realized before how someone I love so much could be taken from me in an instant. There are no guarantees in life, cherish every moment you have with your family....it's such a gift! That said, I'm not saying you can't do both (maybe an assisstant?), but I know you won't regret putting them first.
ReplyDeleteRestlessOasis.blogspot.com
Sheridan, you are asking yourself a question that all working moms mull over from time to time. I am an interior designer. When my children were little I wanted to be at home with my children but didn't want to become stagnant in case I wanted to return to work, so I found a way to do that. When my youngest son started kindergarten I went back to work part-time. I have never regretted staying at home with my kids. My oldest son, was killed 2 years ago and now all I have are my memories of him. I am so thankful that I spent time with him. I am not trying to say stay home but I think you can find a creative way to keep your hands in the business and still be a mom. I would focus on one thing. You are such a perfectionist you have been trying to do too many things by yourself. You must become a delegator. DELEGATE= TIME FOR FAMILY!!!
ReplyDeleteI would look at the local college and see if you could offer an internship to a student. A work study program for a design student. That way you could get help and not have to pay(or pay much) for it. The student would get valuable work experience. You might even get two students. I would also consider making your products in the USA, even if you have to charge more for them. You could sell online and not to stores. I know it is a smaller venue but it is a way to keep your hand on the pulse of the market while your babies are growing up. I think for right now, the main thing you need is a break! Take a few days off, write a pros and con list, pray and listen to your inner voice. You will figure it out...in the meantime, I will pray for you and for God to grant you clarity in your decision. Hang in there, which ever decision you make, it will be the right one for you and your family!
I'm echoing the voices of many here, but as a mom of 2 year old twins, I cannot emphasize enough the importance of getting yourself the right kind of help. Your business and your children will both be in their infancy/toddlerhood at the same time-- it's a huge challenge but need not be detrimental to either if you plan and adjust appropriately. Don't hesitate to hire extra help with the kids, housework, and/or business as needed, as long as you are still doing the FUN part of each and enjoying that which you truly love. Your passion is a fundamental part of you and something that you want your kids to witness and draw inspiration from. Don't let guilt get the best of you. Your business may remain more of a niche for a few years, but it will be a hugely important outlet and a beacon of hope for many working moms. Don't be a martyr-- if you can afford more household/childcare/office help, appreciate your good fortune and jump on it! It will be the best thing for your family and your business. A happy mom is the foundation of a happy family. Wishing you much success and happiness!
ReplyDeleteI have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. -Gloria Steinem
ReplyDeleteSheridan - If the date was November 28, 1961, we probably wouldn't even be having this conversation. If a woman was married and had children fifty years ago, that was her full-time job. Having a career wasn't even a blip on her radar screen. Thank goodness that Gloria Steinem, Betty Friedan and other feminists helped the world realize that being a mother and having a career weren't mutually exclusive.
Unfortunately, with this new freedom that gave women more choices in how to spend their lives came a sense of guilt if they chose the old-fashioned route of staying home to rear their children. "What! You're giving up your identity as a professional to change dirty diapers and make pb&j sandwiches all day long? Are you CRAZY?" It's a dilemma that thousands of women face every year…and no matter what they decide, they are plagued by guilt. They don't want to give up their careers but they also don't want someone else seeing their child take his/her first steps. (For the women who don't have a choice and must work, my hat goes off to them every day.)
In the end, I think you just have to do what you think is the best thing for you and your family. No one's situation is exactly the same. But whatever you decide to do, don't feel guilty about it. You're a wonderful mother, wife and business woman…stop beating yourself up!
Wow - you have some really hard decisions to make Sheridan. I don't know you personally, so I'm not sure I can give you great advice about what exactly you should do.
ReplyDeleteBut this is the best advice I can give you: LISTEN TO YOUR GUT (or your heart, whatever you want to call it).
I swear to God that every time I have listened to my instinct, I have made the right decision.
If you makes you feel any better I too struggle with these feelings, AND I DON'T HAVE KIDS YET! Crazy huh? I often feel like I should be pushing myself harder to do more things, especially with work. I'm a lawyer and I think it is a very common personality trait. But I am happy right now, in what I am doing and I am challenged enough where I'm bored.
I say that if you have the opportunity to be a full-time Mom and your gut tells you to do this: GO FOR IT! I hate that people look down on women who have made that choice: shouldn't we be happy can make a choice now? And, children are wonderfully happy with a mommy at home. I personally can attest to this as my mom only worked two days a week when I was growing up.
Ok - long advice, but it looks like you are getting plenty, and that you will be able to be reassured in your decisions, whatever they may be. Keep being fabulous, and whatever you choose, I know you will be wonderful.
I find it interesting that most of the moms that have posted have said - take a break. Just an observation.
ReplyDeleteI have been in a similar situation lately. I have 3 kids under 7 and twins. I have been dabbling in interiors and keep being asked to do jobs. Obviously because I'm passionate about design I've wanted to go all in. However, as I started doing more and more, I realized two things: 1) I love design, but HATE the headaches (back orders, invoicing, etc.). The headaches started outweighing what I love about design. 2) My family was suffering because I was so focused on my design work.
After a season of soul searching and lots of prayer, I knew that I knew that I knew it was time to take a break. I totally felt like the Lord was saying, "just not now." Much to my shock, when I shared this with my ultra supportive hubs, he was so relieved. It was taking away from my priority - my family. I've felt such freedom since I acknowledged that.
So...I echo the other comments - they will grow SO SO SO fast. You can't get these years back. There will be time to grow your business.
If you want to keep some life in the business, find a way to hire someone to help with the headaches. Life is far too short to live feeling stressed out and overwhelmed. That's not what God intended!
Your children won't wait & your collection will.
ReplyDeleteI love you XXXXXXXO
First off, I love your honesty & openness when you share things like this. I feel like we are all just trying to do the best we can, and sometimes that is HARD! It's always nice to know that someone else feels that way too.
ReplyDeleteWhatever stage in life you are in I think the key (though much easier said than done) is to find balance. The balance between work, kids, husband, hobbies, exercise, friends, me-time, etc isn't going to be the same for you as for anyone else, but keep working at your schedule and commitments until you find it. Personally, I have a business with 2 partners and help my husband run his business. My daughter is in a wonderful preschool and I am thankful every day for the role her amazing teachers are playing in her life - I truly believe "it takes a village to raise a child" and with no family nearby I am so happy to have these special people in my village. :) I work 8 hrs a day max so that I can get her at a reasonable hour, beat rush hour home, and have time to make dinner, play, go for a run, linger over books, and not have the evening be a mad dash to bedtime. This means turning away business almost every day. Our company could be more successful, I could be making more money, I could be going to conferences and making a bigger name for myself in the industry - but I honestly have no hard feelings or second guessing going on, I am happy and comfortable with my choices for now, and if that changes a couple of years down the road I'll re-evaluate.
A while ago I was feeling overwhelmed by all the things I feel I am "supposed" to do in life. I decided to make a list (which caused major anxiety and was hilarious at the same time) - it included things like: work hard and grow my business, read to my daughter, take care of my skin, work out, make dinner every night, keep my house clean, manage my investment portfolio, volunteer, keep my email inbox cleared out, recycle, garden, walk the dogs every day, play outside, travel, read, stay up to date on world news, decorate for the holidays, learn a language...there was a lot more. :) Anyway - I decided to pick the things that are the most important to me and either let the others slide or have someone else do them. I love to cook and prioritize making dinner most nights, and I need to exercise to stay sane - but a bunch of the other things just might not fit in my life right now, and that is OK!
It also might help to think of your life as a pie - your kids are a slice, your husband is a slice, your home, your business, etc, etc - you get the idea. :) All the slices add up to a happy, balanced, well-lived life - but a giant stack of whole pies is just going to topple over and lead to a mess. How's that for a crazy metaphor? :) Good luck! You will figure out what's right for you!
Hi Sheridan,
ReplyDeleteI love reading about your life! It's a tough decision, with no wrong answer, so whatever you decide will be the right decision.
My advice, perhaps unqualified, is to keep working. But, as some other posters have commented, to make some changes.
I think you need an intern - an informal ad hoc arrangement, through which you could both help each other. I'd suggest a local girl, maybe a high school or college student who is interested in learning about business and fashion. Or maybe even a couple of girls - people you could get to know well and build up the trust to delegate some responsibility, as well as giving them amazing experience and CV and interview talking points! She could work with you more at busy times and less at quieter times, dealing with all the admin and consuming less fun and less creative sides of the business - but the end products would still be your ideas come to life.
I think if you give up working, as understandable as that would be, you might feel like something is missing, and I think that could get you down. I think it's really inspiring to your children to have your own passion and enthusiasm, and to have a distinct side of you that is something other than "mommy".
Do you mind if I ask what Biz does? Would it be possible for him to maybe work from home occasionally so that you could try to have some more kids-free dates with your girlfriends?
I think it's all about balance, and I think having more in your life than just your role as a mother (although it goes without saying that's the most important thing!) ultimately makes you a better mother. All of the most amazing mothers I know have always worked and done a lot for themselves alongside raising the kids - I think it means that as well as being seen as an amazing mother by your kids, they'll see you as an amazing person :)
So... keep going, but get some help! Allowing someone to help you with the business and with the kids isn't showing weakness or neglecting either of them - it's just means that you get more time to focus on the most important parts of each (the creative side of the business and loving and raising your kids) - whilst someone else can take the pressure off the admin/necessities - i.e. the long-distance phonecalls, washing dirty baby clothes - being a good mother/businesswoman doesn't mean you have to deal with EVERY aspect yourself.
Good luck! xxx
I think in this day and age this is a really tough decision and I think you are lucky that you are in a position to be able to have a choice.
ReplyDeleteWhile I totally agree that your children should come before your job, I think it is important for a woman to have an identity and a sense of self outside their children. My mom has always said that while she would have loved to have been a stay at home mom when my brother and I were little, she is glad that she continued to work. She says in reality she needed that time at work, doing something other than being our mother in order to continue to be a great mother. My parents were also very fortunate that my grandparents lived very close and could help with child care. They never had the guilt associated with putting your children in day care and as a result I have an amazingly close relationship with my grandparents.
My mom also felt it was important for me to see my mother as a sucessful business woman so I knew that girls could do anything boys can do. She wanted to show me that it is important to make your own way and make your own money. My mom has always been my dad's equal in that respect and I think their relationship is stronger because of it.
In the end, you have to make the decision that is best for your family. For myself, I can never imagine not working. I always want the sense of independence that comes with contributing financially to my family. I want to make sure I am always in a position to provide for myself and my family if I need to.
You have received some great advice here. As a mother who has worked off and on - and as a child of a stay at home mom - I can offer you two takes.
ReplyDeleteYour children will love it that you have interests and drive and a career. They will also love it that you put them first. Which, in even asking this question, shows how much you care.
Think back on your childhood? What is it that you remember most. It is probably not the gifts or the material - but the time spent. You cannot get back time.
As a mother of older children now with a new one on the way -- I can say that they are already more interested in playing with friends than hanging with mom.
So if you can hire some great help for your business and keep that going with you at the masthead - go for it. If not, I have no doubt with your creative mind and spirit -- something else will come your way.
Since this question is coming up -- I can see your struggle and I know you will be happy that you took time for your children. But in that -- do not forget yourself.
My advice however, do not become one of those mothers that in thinking they are stay at home -- but volunteer on so many committees and projects, they might as well work a full time job bc they have no time for their family! My ex had one of those stay at home mothers -- who had time for everyone else, but him. I know how that adult fares later in life.
I try to think of how decisions I make will effect my children years from now. So try to fast forward to 60. Your children are grown and it's you and Biz. Do you then wish you had the time with your children? Bc you won't. They will be busy with their own lives. There is such a small finite amount of time where children really want and need that attention and guidance. If you can give them that time -- I think it is invaluable.
That being said -- plenty of mothers who HAVE to work, can still spend time with their kids -- they just have to give up a bit more.
So consider yourself lucky that you have the choice.
In your heart, you will know which path to take. I have no doubt in whatever decision you make, it will be the right one.
This is a question that I have grappled with many times in the past, and still do. My kid is now 3, he was looked after by his grandma / nanny from 7th month till 1.5 years. And from then on he has been in daycare. There were lots of days when he just didn't want to go to daycare or clung to me when the nanny came. All these times were quite traumatic to me and I used to feel terribly guilty whenever I had to leave him crying. But there was nothing I could do about it, I needed to work, both for my family and for myself. There will, for most women who work, always be a tug of war between work and family balance and the question whether you are doing enough.
ReplyDeleteIf you could afford to take a couple of years off, maybe until the kids are ready to go to school, that would be simply awesome. But you would also need to look into your needs for personal identity (other than a mom & wife) & ambitions and ensure you wouldn't resent taking a back seat.
Otherwise, you definitely need an assistant or a manager who can lessen your work load and give you the much needed 'me' time and time with your kids. You could also let business go at status quo or limit your expansion plans until you feel comfortable with the pace of your life. Based on my experience, however much you balance, you might always feel a remorse in the back of your mind, that you were not there always when they needed you.
It's totally a personal decision, what works for you and your life situation so that you and your family is happy.
I think you are too talented to give up your clothing line, so my advice is to scale back for now. And get some help, I think there would be plenty of college students who would LOVE to intern for you. I'd also look into moving your production to the US. When you're kids are school-aged, maybe the time will be right to go bigger. Your designs are amazing-- I bet in short order you'll be ripe for an acquisition from a major fashion holding company!
ReplyDeleteSheridan, you are asking all the right questions. I've been reading your blog and watching the line since I discovered it on Elements of Style. I love your use of color, pattern, textures. I think we're style sisters :)
ReplyDeleteSounds like you've hit overwhelm. I've often wondered how you do it all!
You have quite a challenge and then when you factor in world-wide supply chains, e-commerce, sales cycles and family life, whoa!
It's amazing you are where you are.
the thing is, we're in a new business paradigm where you get to create the business you want that supports your chosen lifestyle (with 5 or 6 kids if you want!).
you could do trunk shows, sell direct to consumer via e-commerce, eschew a showroom in NYC, forget the look books and stake your claim for how you operate. there's no reason that you have to play by the old rules of deliveries, the wholesale calendar, PR. unless you WANT to.
your business model must, above all, be in alignment with and support your life model and values.
I love the book Relationship Breakthrough by Cloe Madanes/Tony Robbins. It teaches the concept of 6 basic human needs/values and can be a wonderful way to look at how you're spending your time/energy/resources and what those choices are doing for you at a core level and on the level of ego.
You have great talent and heart. Keep asking your questions...
with love,
Lauren
Oh my goodness have I been in your shoes!!
ReplyDeleteOne of my most wise girlfriends (mom of 3 and incredibly successful with her own business!) reminded me that life is long and full of a lot of chapters - so don't be afraid to change the subject matter! BEST advice I ever received.
I worked ten hard years to create the exact business I wanted, got the top clients, hit all the numbers and goals that I laid out for myself, the whole she-bang! Rainbow at the end of the tunnel, I arrived! And yet I felt like a rubber band about to snap - racing from meetings to try to get home to see my little nugget before bedtime, trying to make healthy homemade meals at least 5 nights a week, play dates, music class, all of it. I tried to fit in all of it. And here is what I finally realized after three crazed years, I was a successful business woman (just hanging in there) I was a somewhat decent mom, and a totally average wife - not the title I wanted for that chapter of life. SOOOOO I took a year to experiment, I completely shut the doors to my business for one full year to see if I would feel fulfilled - and I was honest with colleagues and clients - who all respected my desire to test the full time mom waters. In all honesty, most applauded it.
That year is coming to a close and I will tell you it has been an absolute gift. I have been able to see what it means to me to be a full time mom, see what it feels like to not have work in my life... and the end result is that I am going back to work - at half speed. So, this next year will be a test again to challenge myself to find balance.
SO I pass on the advice that not everything is permanent but childhood is fleeting. Instead of just hanging in there with everything, test it. You may find that being a full time mom, while amazing, is not your speed. You may find out that it is the best way to spend your life. Either way, you'll know what feels right and having that guessing removed is an incredibly freeing feeling.
Best of luck!
ahhhhh your post came at a great time for me! i struggle with this on a daily basis as i work 30 hours a week and have two kids under the age of 2 and we are thinking about #3! i feel the same as you, i never get to see my kids, the days are jam packed with work, kids, social time, husband time, etc. but i have taken a step back and looked at my life and i honestly think i wouldnt want it any other way. i thrive on craziness and love being busy. i used to work in fashion in nyc and this was how my life was then and it is like this now just different with kids, etc. you have to follow your heart and do what feels right and unfortunately you are the only person who can decide that. everyone says how quickly this time goes with your kids and it's true. but i dont think you can ever regret, just keep moving forward and do what you love. working, being a mom, wife, etc. you will want to look back and reflect and know you did it how you wanted and wouldnt change anything. i always think of that darius rucker song "this" and it helps me get through the day. good luck!
ReplyDeleteI love your post and understand where you are coming from. I have two kiddos myself (3 and 15months) and own my own business, which in the last two years has really taken off. Although I am not able to be there for everything, I am very grateful that since I am my own boss, my time is pretty flexible to bring and pickup my kids from preschool, have lunch with them, put them down for a nap and then have a part-time nanny help out in the afternoons. I'm home about 50% of the time in the afternoons working on the computer and off on appointments the other 50%. When I am home, I always take little breaks to give hugs or go grab an ice cream cone with the older one, etc. What has really helped me is delegating some of my workload. The nanny helps with laundry, dishes, homemade meals, grocery shopping, helps with my general emails, filing (when kids are napping or when she is at her home) etc., so when I am done with work, my time is focused on my children and my husband. My advice would be to scale back your business, hire an assistant and part-time nanny to help manage all the little things that suck up your time. I would try this for six months to a year and then reassess. If you are still not happy, then stop working. I wish you luck and I know whatever you decide, it will be the right decision for you. Congrats on baby #3.
ReplyDeleteanother thing you could do is move your home office away from home, even if it is to your parents basement (someplace without rent!). This will make it easier for you to allocate time to your business, and time to your family, without having them overlap, or without having your kiddos interrupt you while working (making the whole process even longer). I feel like that way, when you're at home, you spend all the time you have with your kids and be 100% present in their life, and then when you're at your "office" you can be the most proficient you can be.
ReplyDeleteI may be oversimplifying but, I think you should do what makes you feel happy and then your children and husband will reap the benefits of your happiness. Your gut should be telling you what feels like the right decision.
ReplyDeleteGood luck Sheridan!
Heather
Hi Sheridan,
ReplyDeleteI hate doing this but as a reader and a fan of your line I thought I would suggest...
Perhaps you need help with production so you can focus on the aspects of your business that you do best like marketing, sales, events, and vision.
My husband has a company called Intercontex that does this sort of thing for emerging brands. You should check out the website and see if it is something up your alley. I would hate to think that you would stop now when you are gaining such traction with your line.
Anyways, I hate to be sales-y but though I would suggest since it could really help you have the best of both worlds! Love your line and all the color!
-erin
Sheridan,
ReplyDeleteI'm struggling with similar issues, as it sounds like many of your readers have. It has been helpful to read all of the comments thus far! I think the main thing to remember is that you can achieve a greater sense of balance without totally giving up your work, provided that your work still feels fulfilling and meaningful. I work full-time and have a 2-year-old. If I had the option to slow down, I certainly would. However, given my personality, I don't know that I would be completely fulfilled staying home full-time. It seems that you have a perfect opportunity, given your talent and the type of business you have, plus you appear to have financial security, to slow down without completely "quitting." I would also not hesitate to ask for help...either at home or work, and don't feel guilty about it!
My mom gave me some great advice a while ago...the worst thing you can be for your children is not a working mother or a busy mother...it's a depressed mother. You need to find ways to stay personally fulfilled without feeling guilty, and to spend quality time with your babies that you will feel good about.
Also, I encourage you to take all of our advice with a grain of salt. What really matters is what your heart and instincts are telling you to do. And remember that nothing is permanent...you can always make a change and then make another change when the time is right!
-Rebecca
This has been a great post! Reading the comments - awesome!
ReplyDeleteI am on tenterhooks waiting to read your reply :)
You are blessed and fabulous * you Can do it, you Can pull it off * best of luck to you!
Sheridan, I adore your honesty and this post. You are blessed with the option to stay home with your children. As a young wife who's waiting on pins and needles to start a family until my husband's income is enough to support us as a single-income family, my perspective is to sieze this time to be there for your children while they're young and snuggly :) My dream pre-marriage was to be the next Anna Wintour, and I've moved up the "ranks" and am now an editor at a magazine, but can't stop dreaming about starting a family. Dreams can change! You will make the right decision either way - just listen to your husband, your Creator, and your heart. xo
ReplyDeleteI'm a mom of two kids, six and three. Before i had kids I had an amazing career, flying on jets, happy clients, emersed in creativity. Loved it! When I had my first sweet baby, I tried to juggle it all. And I found I didn't do any of it well. I was spread way to thin. I made the difficult decision to leave the corporate world. I was a bit ashamed I couldn't do it all, because - aren't you supposed to? I am so capable. Give yourself a break. You did it. You can do it again. The baby years go fast. You never get it back, they are so important. If you can swing it, keep creating, keep planning your business. When the kids are older, start again. You will see you are even better and wiser and more creative! That has been my experience. I do not regret it - especially when I see how well the kids act, learn and appreciate out in the world. You are a creative force and winner, that is never going to change. Please continue blogging though ...it's a favorite!
ReplyDeleteI am currently an attorney. I don't have kids yet, but I can't wait. If I were financially able I definitely would not work full time. Is there any way that you can take on a partner and only work part time? I think that if you did all this once, you can definitely do it again once your kids are older. So you shouldn't feel like this is a once in a life time thing. For attorneys, we have to stay in the game or it is almost impossible to get a firm to hire you back. So I will probably always have to work at least part time.
ReplyDeleteGosh, we have all been there! I just feel that your babies are small for such a short time, those precious memories you can never get back. Enjoy them now---with your talent and drive you will succeed should you decide to pick up your business later. It will definitely reflect in your family---we only get one shot to raise our kids and raise them right.
ReplyDeleteMy advice is to pray about it. God has a plan for your life and he knows what your future holds. Ask for guidance and he will show you the way. If anything he can give you peace about your decision.
ReplyDelete"Do not worry about anything; instead, pray about everything." Philippians 4:6
Sheridan,
ReplyDeleteThere are no easy answers and I think the questions you raised are the ones that many working mothers struggle to answer daily. I saw this great quote from Emma Thompson, which I really like:
Speaking to Good Housekeeping, Thompson said: 'I don't want your readers ever to think they have to have it all. I think that's a revolting concept. It's so false!
'Sometimes you'll have some things, and sometimes you'll have other things. And you do not need it all at once; it's not good for you.
And I will also repeat my husband's advice: "life is long." If you do decide to scale back working to spend more time on other things (self, children, husband), that balance can definitely shift again down the road - be that 10 months or 10 years. And it can shift again after that. There is no constant, one way of doing things.
So know you are not alone in your stress/struggle to find the right "balance." Good luck and keep us posted!
"Work is like a rubber ball- drop it and it will always bounce back. Family and friends are like a glass ball- drop it and it will shatter."
ReplyDeletePassion will sustain your creativity for a lifetime, but 'familylove' is the pathway for not only *your* life, but your soon-to-be three children and beloved husband. Your energy, presence, not only physically, but emotionally and mentally is needed by them all. If things are getting too much then a step back is needed. You have created a fantastic, exciting brand and I do very much agree with the above comments, you need an assistant- SJP style. Working in a family office style- I worked a PA to a private family and if you could afford to pay someone and give them a chance to blossom under your wing,by not only helping and supporting your efforts, as the brand 'Sheridan French' grows then this is the next potential step to try.
After time if this does not work, then the next step is to re-evaluate again. What you have built has potential to be *AMAZING*, but you need to have the confidence and leap of faith to hand your other 'baby' to another competent individual with a similar passion and work ethic as yourself.
God will guide you, remember He never will put anything infront of you that you cannot cope with or get through. Pray. Talk. Question. Pray. Also ask your Mum. She will give you good, sound advice! All the best!
Boy was I so happy to read your post. I almost unsubscribed to your newsletter because I was feeling so guilty that I wasn't able to do everything that you do!!! Thank you so much for your honesty; I can assure you that it was just what I needed. Although I believe you already have your answer, check out my website: www.jenniferpadawer.com. I'm a life coach and think I may be able to help you make peace with your decision! I'm all about guilt free living!
ReplyDeleteI admire you for your honesty. I understand the struggle with pride. In your last post, you listed what you were thankful for. Think about it again. Did you list it in a particular order? You mentioned God, and as I'm a new reader I don't know if you mean Jesus, or who you mean...but if that is who you mean, take some time to read a few verses (I like Psalm 23, and Isaiah 40 when I am trying to remember who God is- that is the most vital thing in living life the way he has designed it to be lived). In light of those verses, I hope good things for you and for courage and wisdom and renewal.
ReplyDeleteI've enjoyed your lovely blog for some time and never thought to comment until now--this post struck so close to home, as it clearly does for many working mothers!
ReplyDeleteWe have a lot in common; I studied abroad at cambridge, spent the next few years traveling around the world with creative work, and have 2 little boys (3.5 and 22 mos) and am pregnant with #3 (lord help us...it's going to get BUSIER!) :).
I found striking the elusive work/life "balance" (as much as such a thing really exists) to be much easier with one child. With one baby, there was simply more time to give 100% when I got home from work, and juggle the unexpected things (earaches, to birthday parties, to snuggle time) that little ones demand.
When we had our 2nd baby, work exploded (in a good way) and I was beginning to find that there simply weren't enough hours in the day. I was unwilling to cut short any of the important things for my family and was unwilling to slow down at work, so I soon began to find that while everything was staying on track, it really was ME that was beginning to suffer. Never a free moment to work out, catch up with girlfriends (for some much needed release!!) or sleep, much less read a magazine... I eventually wore myself down and ended up exhausted and in the hospital. My husband and I took a vacation and after a few days of soul searching I decided to leave my job, put my career on hold and see what the 'full time mom' thing was all about.
As many people have posted here, I never wanted to look back and wonder what it would have been like to be 100% PRESENT with the kids when they were little--not checking a blackberry on the playground, rushing from a preschool event to a meeting--just enjoying the day to day together and experiencing the little things in life.
I've been home 5 months now and can agree with a lot of women here that the grass can be a shade greener... I've really enjoyed being home and not having the pressing feeling of needing to be in 2 places at once. It's a different pace, and I've loved settling into the simple routines of our family life. That said, I do find I miss the fulfillment from work a bit.
I think it is difficult for creative, driven, successful women to give up that piece of their identity to become mothers. Unfortunately, the needs of little ones (and the time we want to spend with them) can make job + motherhood difficult. There's a great line "You can have it all--just not all at once". I think at this point in your (and my) life this rings true. But that doesn't mean that you have to sacrifice one for other completely.
Perhaps now isn't the time to push 100% SF--instead downshift to keep it going in a smaller capacity. Hire someone you trust (both on the childcare and the work side), and tell yourself that it's OK to put work on a slower track--just as it's OK for you to take some dedicated time away from the family to concentrate on work. Perhaps now isn't the year to expand into children/home/accessories--focus on the core of your line, bring in a brilliant #2, and be willing to give up some of the control (hard, I know) to find more time at home.
Consider yourself lucky to be in a field where you can even consider a part time option. See how it goes--if it doesn't work or you are unhappy then make a switch. Life is nothing if not changeable!
Best of luck, Sheridan. You are a creative and talented lady and will make the right choice!
As a fan of your blog, I have to say this has been the post that I really commend you for the most. I am a college student (20) and I enjoy your posts on your children, diet ideas, those amazing hair ties, and your outfits! One of the things I most admire about you (and why I think your blog is so popular) is that your lifestyle is unique and personality is refreshing.
ReplyDeleteI obviously don't have kids, but since my mother made it her job to raise me and my two younger sibling (she quit her job as a nurse anesthetist when I was born and never went back), I feel very strongly about this matter. I don't know you, but I know what I have read. To be perfectly frank, you'll miss your children's lives if you keep with your current schedule. You can't get that time back. They only grow up once. And you can design clothing any time you want to. Do you children a favor and put the business on hold. Don't punish yourself for "quitting," you are just pressing the pause button.
Although we live in a world where women are very much empowered to work and excel in all career fields, I dream about one day having the luxury to excel as a mother. Your kids will be eternally grateful. I sure am.
Commit to family first.
ReplyDeleteNo advice because my head is screaming these exact arguments right this very second, BUT... here's a little encouragement I read today and it reminded me that who I am and what I aspire to and what I have been given is exactly enough. Hope it does the same for you!
ReplyDelete"I say, to mothers collectively, in the name of the Lord, you are magnificent. You are doing terrifically well. The very fact that you have been given such responsibility is everlasting evidence of the trust your father in heaven has in you." - Jess, Alora Handmade
Can you just clone yourself? (= That's what I tell my workaholic husband who never has time for anything.
ReplyDeleteI'm a stay at home mom with no regrets whatsoever for giving up my job, nor do I think my law degree is going to waste. When I scroll through my phone and look at the thousands of pictures of my 16 month old, I thank God that my situation is such that I have the opportunity to be with him every day and watch him learn and grow. It goes by so fast, and I know that work will always be there, but for now I want to be there for my husband, son, and two labs. And hopefully another baby in the near future.
Just my two cents. Listen to your heart and you'll find the right decision.
I don't have any great advice..but i love your line and you are an inspiration to me. I have 4 girls & am going through a divorce after 17 years of marriage. I dream of the day I can practice my passion..interior design. But i will never look back at the past & regret raising my daughters. I never knew how to do both. Good luck..
ReplyDeleteAs my good friend and former co-worker said when I asked him a similar question 7 years ago when my youngest was 6 months old:
ReplyDeleteIt's all in what you're willing to give up.
In other words, there's only so much "you" to go around. Do what makes you happy now. The answer evolves as you kids grow and you go through other life changes.
I can tell from reading your blog that you know your own heart. Go with it; trust it. Your honesty and sweetness really shine through. Your family is very lucky.
Here are my thoughts: You cannot be 100% at both work and home, You just can't. NONE of us can. Something or someone is going to get shafted. SO... when faced with that, my personal answer was crystal clear.... the job goes. I choose to give 100% to my family. We are mothers forever, but for most of us- especially those who started our families in our 20's- most of our parenting career we will be parenting adult children. THAT is the time for the career. We are actively parenting little ones who are at home with us all day for such a TEENY, TINY amount of time. I know it feels like a loooong time when you are in the trenches of it- but it is not. It is fleeting and it is precious. It is precious to us as mothers, but it is most precious to our children. These years are the most important in their lives in forming who they are, what their values are and their self esteem. Your creativity and your pioneering spirit and business sense will be with you forever. Your babies will not.
ReplyDeleteSheridan, SHORT & SWEET b/c I'm sure you have no time to read this! :)
ReplyDeleteThis Year:
I took off my designer hat, closed my store, and make infrequent posts to my blog, put all the fabric bolts that were taking over every room in our home and anything else client reelated. I put my Mommy hat on, I am room Mom in my daughter's class ( too late for doing this for my boys) And it's the SIMPLE THINGS...SIMPLE SIMPLE SIMPLE! sitting outside in the sun, playing with the dogs, playing board games for the first time,reading more than one bedtime story at night since I'm not rushing off to my computer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Looking forward to putting the hat on someday again ...so...I CAN HAVE IT ALL-WOMEN ROCK! If you get a chance, email me, I have a fabulous audio CD that will make you laugh and will inspire you so much!!!!!
Tanya,Style Redesign
Style-redesign@cox.net
I have two degrees plus working on a masters, love working and have 2 toddlers. I have gone back and forth between working and watching my kids several times, because each time that I quit working, I feel this crazy amount of stress to keep up the achievements. I would suggest hiring an assistant to give yourself some extra time and slowly try to stop for awhile, but keep writing your blog to stay in contact with your customers (like me). Remember you can always start up again-nothing will change much by the time you decide to start up again. I have noticed that each time I leave my company and come back, nothing much has changed. You will still be able to be an amazing success. Wait until your youngest is in Kindergarten. You will have soooo much time to build up your biz again in the future, when your babies are busy with their own interests. Men have it soooo easy! They have no idea how difficult it is to balance success, passion, dreams, and raising perfect children.
ReplyDeletexoxo much love!
Been There! The precedent you set will become others expectation. You set the rules and the expectation. Family First Always! To be the best professional - you have to be the best YOU. Others will follow suit and move on. Best to you...
ReplyDeleteI stopped working full-time when my kids were 3, 5 & 7. I had a career I loved as a writer/editor (Master's degree, as well). Obviously it was a gut-wrenching choice because it took me years to make it.
ReplyDeleteStaying home with them is the best thing I ever did! I find plenty of ways to engage my creative obsessions on my terms. Best of all, I am always available for my kids, and and our house is calmer since my husband and I are not juggling/stuggling 2 careers/3kids.
When they get older (my kids are all in elementary school now), it gets SO much more complicated with all of their activities and scheduling. I don't even know how I could work full time anymore (and I don't want to!).
Remember, it's OK to get help if you decide to keep working. It's not just OK, it's a must! Happy Mommy, Happy Babies!
WOW..i am just reading this...as i have to carve out "catch up on blog time" my "me" time every so often. I can relate to SO much of this. Having your own business is awesome for so many reasons but its hard as S*#:@() . My business has been my baby, but i hear you on so many points you wrote about. If i can ever be an ear or anything for you, please holler. i am in constant states of "needing balance" not sure what it would feel like when i was there....do we ever get there?
ReplyDeleteI only just started following your blog, but I feel as if I am reading my life story! I had a clothing line (for girls) a few years ago. I dealt with overseas production, trade shows, PR all with a FT job & toddler. After 4 years (successful too - SAKS stores, etc!), something had to give. I closed the doors and had a second baby.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't content. I still had the same FT job, but not fulfilled creatively and I missed the connecting with my customers and other designers like me. I started a line of handmade dolls and promised I would keep it small & simple. I didn't keep my promise & now I am struggling again to keep a balance.
Long story short...thankfully my family supports my crazy need to keep this going. I see there is a future in it.
Maybe take a season off? See how you feel? I know how it feels to be so IN IT that you can't see the big picture. I definitely think you should keep working if you love it and are not losing money.
Sheridan, I though I commented on this a while ago but I guess I did not. You will follow your own heart in the end but I still want to share my story. My Mom stayed home with us and when my Dad divorced her (I was in middle school) she had no options for a career. I noticed her struggle and promised myself that I would get the best education and have a career. Fast forward....I went straight from my BA to an MA to a Ph.D. Seriously, I had my Ph.D by 24 or 25 years old. I was a professor at 25 when I met my hubby. We married and I had my oldest son. I always planned to go back to work. I loved my job. I taught, counseled, did research, presented at conferences. It was great! PLus you can be a full time professor working about 20 hours a week.
ReplyDeleteHowever, my mother in law was diagnosed with cancer the day my son was born. She came to a hospital right near our home for treatment and she died when Will was just 8 weeks old. His first plane ride was for her funeral. I decided right then and there to resign. I knew that I would never know how much time I had to be with my kiddos and I did not want to miss one minute.
Will is 14 now. Harry is 11 and Kate is 5. If I had a freeze gun...I would freeze them (well maybe not the teenager). I soak up every single second with Kate because the 9 year age gap has given me the crystal clear perspective that this childhood thing is fleeting....SO fleeting.
I have NEVER regretted my decision. I have slowly begun working again as a marriage and parenting coach while the kid are in school and I love it. But honestly, the BEST job in the world is being a good Mom. It is not easy..the hours are long and they rewards come slowly but when they come...they are so worth it.
Make your decision and never look back. Making a decision is NOT quitting. it is following your calling.
And I want to add that if your heart tells you to keep going with your business, I completely respect that too. We all have to do what God calls us to do and that is different for everyone.
I wish you well:)
Kim
I found what I was looking for.
ReplyDeleteNo question. Stay at home with your children.
You will never get another opportunity like this.
The end. :)
Sheridan,
ReplyDeleteI'm new to reading your blog and thus, I suppose my comment is tardy for the party... however. I know exactly what it is like to want it all: the powerful career, the super mom flag flying high, and a strong relationship (hubster). You can have it all. I work full time, recently completed my master's degree (I took one semester off to have Peanut and heck yes I nursed a whole year while working full time and going to night school), but I found the key to it all is that you have to accept only giving 100% instead of the usual 110%. Us Type A folks find that hard to do, but you can still be wildly successful by giving only 100%. You can do it all. You just have to A.) Be insanely organized (Are you a Mac user? hello, iCloud for my Mac Air, iPad, iPhone...heart) and B.) Be comfortable with 100%. Easier than it sounds. As soon as you give yourself a little air to breathe (and hire an intern--interns still work for free, right?), you'll do great. Don't give up.
xoxo
Wendy - THANK YOU for this! For some reason your reply really struck a cord with me. You are exactly right in that I try to give 110% to everything. Only recently as I backed off of work so much did I feel like I wasn't giving my all, but my all is over and above 100%. I realized I still do give 100! And that is fine!! Thank you thank you for your words. Really appreciate it. xoxo
ReplyDelete